Hand Cramps
by Punch A Fish In The Face
Summary: Light has hand cramps. L is suspicious of this. L asks why Light has hand cramps. Soichiro reminds L of a certain inceident that happened on camera... Light becomes embarrassed for the rest of his life. Ryuk enjoys this. My first Death Note story. Oneshot. Task Force-centric. Rated for allusion to masturbation, reference to pornography, and some language.


A/N  
This is my first Death Note story. It's a one-shot, based on a joke I made about the series.  
This takes place in the 4th tankobon.  
End A/N

/x/x/x/

"Light-kun, is something troubling your hand?" L- I mean, Ryuga- er, Ryuzaki, asked. He was currently watching Sakura TV on one monitor, Local channel News 7 on a second, National News on a third… and a program where someone was making cake on a smaller fourth one.

'It's nothing, Ryuzaki,' Light responded, massaging his right palm with his left thumb. 'Just some hand cramps.'

Suddenly, the anchorman for News 7 said on the second monitor, _'We have startling news.'_

Soichiro, Matsuda, and Aizawa came to the monitors as L was muting the other TV sets, so they could hear News 7's broadcast. He did this so the others could follow along with just the one, but hesitated slightly before muting the Cake one.

The News continued. _'Reacting to the video broadcast on Sakura TV the other day, another Kira has appeared, stating he is the real one!'_

Aizawa cleared his throat when he saw where L's eyes were focused on- the cake was being frosted. L sheepishly slouched a bit more, and watched the broadcast.

'_This morning at 11:00, a video was sent to the police headquarters, and eight criminals died one by one from heart attacks every ten minutes, starting at two in the afternoon.'_

Light continued to rub his hand. To himself, he mused _'Exactly as planned.'_

"**Light, you only wrote eight names. Your hand can't hurt that bad, can it? Because if it does, humans are weaker than I-" **Ryuk began to say, before he cut himself off.

"**Oh, right, you were studying…"**

The news continued. _'And then a demand was made for each television station to broadcast this message from the True Kira.'_

Matsuda grabbed the remotes for the Sakura TV and the National News TV, and hit 'record' on both of them. He then glanced over to see Light's hands were still sore.

"Those are _some_ hand cramps there, Light." At this, the teen tensed up, and noticed he was absentmindedly rubbing circles into his palm. L noticed the tensing, and remarked on it.

'_The police have agreed to let us show this video.'_

"Light-kun, you must have been writing a lot last night. I'm curious as to what it was. Would you care to tell us?"

"It's nothing." Light said. "I was studying."

"Studying what? _Calligraphy?_" L pressed on.

'_Was it Kira?'_

Aizawa interjected. "Ryuzaki, now isn't the time for that! Pay attention, they're about to play it!"

"I am paying attention, Aihara-san. I'm just interested in what Ki- I mean Light was writing last night."

"Dammit, Ryuzaki, I'm not Kira!"

"I didn't say-" L began, before Light cut him off.

"You almost did!"

'_Is this also_ _Kira?'_

"Stop fighting already, they're about to start!"

Soichiro whispered something into L- Ryuzaki's ear. His eyes widened slightly, and he said "Oh…"

"What?" Matsuda asked. "What is it?"

"Light," Soichiro addressed his son. "We know."

Ryuk's eyes widened even further than they already had, and he began chuckling to himself. **"So, they know. It's been interesting knowing you, Light!"**

Light inhaled, trying to push Ryuk's laughing out of his head. He reached for his wallet with his left hand, the non-sore one, as he tried to formulate a plan. _'Okay, I know everyone's name here except for Ryuzaki- L. I'll have to write Aizawa, Matsuda, and Dad- sorry, dad- into the scrap in my wallet without them being able to tell. Then, I'll have to take down L with my hands- it shouldn't be too hard. What, is he going to surprise me by knowing capoeira? Hah, unlikely. Okay, focus… In 3…'_

To try to stall as he slipped the scrap of paper out of his wallet, and pen out of pocket, he said 'You know about what, exactly?' _'2…'_

"About the magazines, Light-kun."

'_1… wait, what?'_

Light's hands paused what they were doing as he tried to remember what they were talking about.

'_Let's first watch the message for itself.'_ Before the TV showed the colored bars as the tech people set up the tape.

"What magazines?"

Soichiro grabbed his glasses with one hand, pulled them off, and used his other hand to massage his forehead, either out of exasperation or embarrassment.

"The, uh… pornography."

Aizawa and Matsuda's faces blanched. Ryuk stopped chuckling, and slowly started to laugh harder. Light froze.

"_Oh… that… Dammit, I forgot about the magazines!"_

"I'm sorry, Light-kun." L apologized. "I forgot what it was like to be a teenage boy, full of hormones. I'll drop the subject of your hand cramps."

Light seethed._ "…Bastard..."_

"It's normal, I supposed, to be curious about these types of things. Just please don't let your curiosity get in the way of your work here."

Matsuda asked L, "Pornography? How do you-"

"We had cameras installed in Light-kun's room, remember?"

"_I'm going to kill you, L…"_

"Oh… right…" Matsuda looked slowly over at Light, and inched away. Aizawa mirrored Soichiro's movements, rubbing his forehead, and sighed. Ryuk was doubled over, cackling.

"But I was studying last night!"

"Light…" Soichiro said. "Today is Saturday. Last night was Friday- don't you usually go on dates on Friday?"

Light slowly turned to L. He was chewing on his thumbnail, but Light could tell by his eyes that he was smiling at this situation.

"_I really was studying… Dammit…"_

Ryuk was now literally rolling around on the floor, laughing.

The tape began. _'I am Kira…'_

Light was embarrassed around the Task Force members and his father for the next several days- and quite possibly for the rest of his life.

/x/x/x/

A/N  
I didn't plan for this story. So the second half just feels sort of rushed to me. The pacing sucks worse than the Pearl Harbor movie…  
In case you don't get the joke because I suck as a writer- Light has hand cramps from studying and writing names in the Death Note. L is suspicious of Light being Kira. Soichiro brings up the porn magazines Light has stashed in the encyclopedias in his room. Light gets embarrassed.  
So, should I do a part 2, where Misa is involved? Or give up on the Death Note fandom forever…  
End A/N


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